Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
