On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
