erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
