Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You may now shotgun with the bride
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
