I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
