jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
