I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
