matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
