i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
