I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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