You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
