I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
