Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Are my feet made of real feet?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
