I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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