Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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