break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
