She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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