is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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