Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize