If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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