i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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