i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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