I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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