its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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