I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i think i have herpe
just one?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize