just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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