Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Terrible idea I love it
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
