Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Come on in and take your pants off
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