You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
