you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
