he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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