Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
