I just saw a hot homeless man
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
