i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
