Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
