Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
