I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
