no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
