And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
