Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
