Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize