:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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