RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
