if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
