just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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