I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
