Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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