Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
