I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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