I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
