You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
