We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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