Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
