Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
