I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
