Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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