glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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