i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
