she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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