I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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