I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize