My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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