so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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