Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
